You got a real problem, Herbert.
Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken. The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates. While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.
The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.
Made another generator for fun! -^_^- What princess are you?
I am Princess of the Baby Animal Forest ~ ♥
stardust kingdom~ sounds so pretty!!!
Lollipop Gardens! Awe yessss
I am Princess of the Gumdrop Kingdom!! I’d totes make a cosplay around that if I had the resources.
Princess of the Sushi Palace.
That sounds like a dang restaurant.
Come visit my kingdom of Waffle Castle sometime!
Your waffle castle and my banana meadows should get together sometime…
Someone needs to draw a princess frolicking through a field of gently swaying bananas, while a shady looking sushi place and a waffle castle loom in the background.
Someone needs to draw a princess frolicing throu
Princess of the Fairy Gardens.
Syrup Dynasty. I THINK IT’S TIME FOR ME TO TAKE MY RIGHTFUL PLACE ON THE PANCAKE THRONE
I usually don’t do this, but Pegasus Planet sounds like a bitchin’ kingdom. You’re all invited.
Guys I don’t think you should get on that bus.
Carlos and Cecil reach an angst-ridden agreement that he is allowed to cut his hair twice a year, based on the average human hair growth rate of 0.44 millimeters a day. This achieves “maximum lushness” without sacrificing hygiene or requiring a hairnet in the lab.
The first few times are always the hardest.
Steve Irwin in a Jaeger would be entertaining.
Look over there. There’s a Catergory 3 Kaiju. Biggest one yet.
Ah’m gonna wrassle with it.
#yeah but who’s his drift partner. a crocodile. just a crocodile. its not a special or humanoid croc its literally just a croc strapped in.
You know how people buy drinks for girls in bars? Why can’t people do that in book stores? Like if I’m looking at a novel in Barnes and Noble and some person walks up to me and strikes up a conversation and offers to buy the book for me there is a lot better chance of that working out in their favor
I’m going to reblog this until it’s a cultural norm.
Lets do it
plus less chance of drugs being slipped into your book
I dunno man I once bought a used book of Lord Byron’s poems and there was a marijuana leaf pressed into it.
Frankenstein enters into a body building competition and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective